The basics of the basics. The genesis of the book of the art of the kitchen. The cheapest meal you’ll find on this site or any other.

Frying an egg

Despite being the simplest of the recipes you’ll find on this site or any other, being able to fry an egg well is a real door opener. Its the gateway meal. If you can fry an egg it means that you can follow a few basic steps and avoid setting your hair on fire at the same time which basically means that you are capable of producing any dish I post from this point forwards. Congratulations in advance.

Note: If you cock up the first time that’s fine. You’ll almost definitely get the hang of it. If you cock up the fifth time however I suggest you begin working hard on expanding your CV so you can afford takeout every night for the rest of your life.

Serves 1

 

Ingredients 

• Two eggs
• Butter
• Salt
• Chilli flakes *

*If you’re up for a bit of zing

 

Get Ready

• Frying pan
• Spatula
• Fork

 

Method

1. Turn your hob to high or light the stove [If you’re afraid of fire we’re going to have a problem. Fire makes things delicious. You’re going to have to work past that. Soz]
2. Put the frying on and add butter. If you’re not sure how much you need add a bit, let it heat up, and jiggle the frying pan a bit to see if you can cover the whole bottom surface with a thin layer of grease. If not add a bit more.
3. Crack the egg. Just hit it at a single spot with the fork till you get a good crack then use you’re thumbs to pull it open by that crack [Over the pan of course. Hope you didn’t read that too late]. Toss the shell and give yourself a clap on the back. Unless you messed up in which case save the clap for later.
4. Repeat this with the second egg. If you’re not a heathen you’ll break the yolk at this point using the spatula. I you prefer your yolk whole I won’t judge you but maybe you should use another site [Please don’t actually leave me].
5. Pour a little salt into the palm of your hand and sprinkle it over the egg. Try to distribute it evenly if you don’t want the half flavourless, half gagging effect. If you’re feeling all Michelin Star for having got this far go ahead and add a few chilli flakes.
6. Wait two minutes. Flip it over. Wait another two minutes. Its probably done. Carefully lift it out of the pan and onto your plate [It would be kind of sad if you fucked up this part but mostly just funny]. Walk away knowing you’ve taken that first step to a life not sustained by pot noodle, canned soup and dreams.